The centre of one’s life is one’s heart. And lately, my heart has been acting up.

For years, I chalked it up to anxiety. The racing beats, the palpitations that would stop me mid-task and force life to pause. I’d breathe through it, push on, and tell myself it was just stress. But after getting increasingly frustrated by these interruptions, I finally went to the Emergency Department at our local hospital. Turns out, it isn’t (just) anxiety.

Something more is going on with my heart. Ironically, learning that has caused quite a bit of real anxiety.

I’m seeing a cardiologist tomorrow. I’m hopeful, but nervous. We have travel plans a couple of times this year, and I really don’t want to miss out on any of it. There’s so much more I’d love to do in this life. With my family, my kids (who are growing up way too fast), our pets, the garden, and all the little ordinary joys.

And yet… I’m not afraid of what comes after this life. I truly believe that to live is Christ and to die is gain (Philippians 1:21). Heaven is something I look forward to. I’m a little scared of the process of dying, sure, but the ending? Peaceful hope.

So I’d like to clarify something important: The heart of one’s life is still one’s heart. My heart is for Jesus. It’s not always strong, and sometimes it has issues. But Jesus strengthens me daily, and I know He will carry me through this bump in the road too. Just as He has through every other season.

Prayers for a good appointment tomorrow would be so appreciated.